


Radioactive

by le_chat_vilain



Series: The Joker and the Thief [14]
Category: Batman - All Media Types, Gotham City Sirens (Comics), Suicide Squad (2016)
Genre: Angst, F/M, Fluff, Sick Fic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-11-16
Updated: 2015-11-16
Packaged: 2018-05-01 21:41:46
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,098
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5221937
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/le_chat_vilain/pseuds/le_chat_vilain
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Blaire insists on pushing ahead with the plan to repair Joker’s body, and the test results prove to be both a blessing and a curse.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Radioactive

**Author's Note:**

> I don’t think any warnings are really necessary for this one, it’s a little bit of a lull in the angst I suppose, I owe you all a recovery of sorts for a few chapters now I think. Don’t be fooled though, I’m not done with the pain yet.
> 
> Soundtrack: Radioactive by Imagine Dragons

In another stroke of miraculous luck, Freeze finds another two O-neg donors amongst his team, and twenty-four hours later they’re prepping us for surgery. We still don’t have the test results back yet, but we’re pushing ahead anyway at my insistence; it took some persuading, but I seem to have recovered abnormally quickly from my little donation, and the good doctors can’t give me any medical reason not to press forward.

There are many perks to doing this in the lair of a mad scientist, not the least of which being that he has a few gadgets and tricks up his sleeve that should ensure that this goes off without a hitch and that our recovery time will also be significantly reduced. I turn to look at Jay one last time before the anesthetic starts to take hold.

“10, 9, 8, 7, 6…”

Harley’s face is the first thing I see when I come to, giant blue eyes and blonde pig tails looming over me, just staring in anticipation; it actually startles me.

“About freakin’ time, sleeping beauty!” she quips with a grin on her lips. She bends down to hug me and that’s when I feel the ache in my side and I hazard a glance at my abdomen. To my surprise there’s already a scar.

“Jesus fucking Christ how long was I out for, Harley?” I exclaim, marveling down at the silky pink skin.

“About five hours,” she says, “Freeze lasered you up with his fancy machine. You’ll be sore for a few days while the bruisin’ goes down, but all ya guts are healed up inside like it’s been six weeks.”

“Holy shit, that’s amazing…” I remark, propping myself up onto my elbows. That’s when I realize he’s not here, or rather, I’m not there. “Wait, Harley, where is he?”

“Relax, he’s fine, he’s just next door. Doc wanted to keep him in isolation until we know for sure his body ain’t rejectin’ the transplant.”

“I suppose it’s too early to tell, huh?”

“Yeah, but we’ll know much sooner than if this was in a hospital without ice man’s fancy tech. He used the laser on Mr. J too, so the risk of infection isn’t so bad,” she explains.

“The test results?”

“Any minute now.”

“When can we wake him up?”

“Well…we were tryin’ to wait…but he had other ideas…” she starts.

“He’s awake? What the fuck am I still doing here then!” I push her away and try to swing myself off the bed when the pain becomes excruciating and I let out a roar.

“That’s what,” she says, shaking her head and thrusting a cup of water into my hand. “You gotta take these before you do anythin’.”

She hands me two green pills and I take them no questions asked. I don’t care what they are, I need to see him.

“Okay, there done, now can I go?”

“Give it a minute…”

I pout at her and cross my arms, glaring until I feel it start, the slow, warm tingle of oxytocin, wrapping around me like a blanket for my veins, but much sooner than I should be feeling it. I must make some kind of face because she starts to giggle at me.

“There it is! Okay, come on, little miss impatient,” she says as she helps me to my feet. I have to put on this ridiculous get up just to go in the room with him – anyone would think he had the fucking plague. I’ve got gloves and a mask and everything, I look like a dickhead.

“I thought you said the infection risk was negligible?” I ask her, serving some side eye while I’m at it.

“Yeah well, Freeze is German, ya know what they’re like with the rules and what not.”

I’m standing right outside the door, and though I want nothing more in the world than to see him, I’m terrified. I know he’s gonna be pissed, and I’m furious that he came in there after me. I don’t know how this is going to play out. Then again, he’s probably as hopped up on painkillers as I am, so it could all be fine.

“Well, go on then,” Harley nags me, pushing the door open and shoving me in before closing it after me.

“I said I don’t need any more fucking pills, Harley!” he grumbles, laying there, eyes closed and forearm resting across his forehead. I feel my lips curl into a smile for the first time in what feels like an eternity, and I can’t stop the soft chuckle from jumping out. His eyelids fly open and he sits up with about as much speed as he can muster, hissing through the pain.

“Hey shithead,” I tease him with a grin, and shuffle over as fast as I can. The apprehension I was feeling melts away when he lets out a sigh of relief, and pulls me into his arms, clinging to me so tightly it’s uncomfortable.

“What the fuck are you wearing?” he asks me when he finally loosens his grip.

“Harley made me do it, something about infection risk reduction or some bullshit,” I explain.

“Hmm…” He studies me for a moment, and reaches up to rip the hazmat gear off me. Then he slips his hand to the back of my neck and pulls me down to kiss me like it’s his last day on earth; maybe it is. “Oops.”

He lets out a laugh and I summon the strength to climb up onto the bed with him. When I wince in pain, he drags me the rest of the way so that I’m lying on top of him both of us pushing through the aches, before trapping my lips again.

“Wait,” I tell him, pushing away, “You’re not mad?”

“Oh no, I’m furious and you’re a fucking idiot, and I’m definitely gonna make you pay for it in subtle but extremely annoying ways for the rest of our lives, but for now, I figure a kidney’s a pretty fair price,” he explains, tugging me back down again.

“You were dead,” I tell him, voice cracking under the weight of the myriad of emotions crushing my heart. “You weren’t breathing, your heart had stopped, you were clinically fucking dead and…now you’re not…thank fucking God you’re not, but it’s all my fault…I really thought I’d…”

The ordeal starts replaying in my head in slow motion, and then I remember what Freeze said about the bullet.

“…and I still might…” I look down at him knowing everything from this moment on could be borrowed time.

“For starters, it’s not actually your fault, and secondly it’ll be fine. Freeze reckons we’ll both be good in a few days thanks to that magic laser of his, or whatever the fuck it is, then we can go home. We can start a few fires, skin a few hobos, maybe rob a bank or two, and you can make it all up to me…” His arm winds around my back and he sits up to meet me, kissing along my collar bone and up my neck.

“They haven’t told you yet, have they?” I ask despondently, and he stops.

“Told me what?”

The way he looks at me physically hurts, and I don’t know if I have the heart to tell him. He lays back down to rest on his elbows, and I reach out to gently stroke his cheek.

“The bullet, it wasn’t just a bullet,” I begin, and I tell him everything, exactly as they explained it to me, including the time we have left if the tests come back positive.

“Well…fuck,” he breathes, “in that case, we better wreak some serious havoc between now and then, huh?”

He’s smiling at me but it’s not his usual charismatic beam, it’s sad, hollow; there’s no light behind it, none of his spark, none of his madness.

“I’m so fucking sorry,” I choke out, and rest my forehead against his.

“Oh you’ve gotta be shittin’ me!” We were so lost in our own world that we didn’t even hear the door open and Harley and Freeze come in. “Can’t you two keep offa each other for five minutes?”

I sit up slowly and we snicker at each other, and he gives them a shrug.

“We slipped?” he jokes. Freeze just purses his lips and shakes his head before turning his attention to the clipboard in his hands.

“We have the test results back,” he informs us, and our smiles extinguish faster than two candles in a hurricane.

The ringing comes back and I think I forget to breathe for a while as I wait for the axe to fall.

“I gather from the look on your face, she explained this to you?” Freeze asks him.

“Yeah, nasty bullet, deadly serum, yada yada, what’s the verdict, Vic?” he presses, going for the jump in the deep end approach rather than the ease us into it option. Out of the corner of my eye I see Harley turn away and I know there’s nothing good on those pages.

“Well,” Freeze begins, “there is good news, and there is bad news.”

“Oh for fuck’s sake, what is with you and the good news and the bad news? Just spit it out, mate!” I growl, growing impatient. I direct my rage at him but really he’s just in the wrong place at the wrong time; the only person I’m angry with right now is myself.

“Okay then…the bad news is that we detected traces of the serum in both of your blood samples,” he informs us. I feel a flood of peculiar relief followed quickly by a wave of guilt knowing that I was the one who doomed us both to this, to be ticking time bombs.

“And the good news?” Jay inquires.

“The good news, is that unless the serum is triggered, nothing else between now and the time it expires can kill you. You are effectively invincible with the exception of serum related death. Oh, and decapitation of course, but I think that generally goes without say.”

We look at each other in awe, the amount of sheer chaos we could cause in that amount of time clearly running through both our minds as our lips twist into matching smirks. Two invincible mass murderers with literally nothing to lose? We were going out alright, but we would do it with one hell of a bang.

“That is why he survived the blood loss and why both of you are healing so quickly from the surgery. I am sorry it will have all been for nothing now, but we did not know this was a side effect of the serum,” Freeze apologizes to me.

“And why I survived the electroshock treatments,” I note, ignoring him and turning to Harley who responds with a somber nod.

“So, that mean we’re all good to get outta here, doc? We got some hell to raise and some fun to have,” Jay asks, sitting up and tugging me towards him by the throat so he can stick his tongue down it again.

“Uhh…well, I guess-”

“Are you two fucking kiddin’ me?” Harley explodes, “you just found out you’re both gonna die any second between now and mid-November, and you’re happy about it? What the fuck is wrong with you? Ya know what, don’t answer that, Ras Al-Ghul ain’t even got the time for that! Just…get outta here, go back to your basement and fuck the next six months away for all I care! Argh!”

She storms out, slamming the door behind her, leaving the rest of us stunned into silence.

“What the fuck was that all about?” I wonder aloud after a minute or so.

“That was guilt, babe,” he says, “and a decent lick of jealousy, but mostly guilt. Like I said, this was never your fault.”

Of course, I may have acted recklessly, gone against him and walked into a trap as blatant as they come, but I never would have done either of those things if Harley hadn’t roped me into it in the first place. It was Harley’s idea to go into Arkham, it was Harley who didn’t put up nearly enough of a fight when I wanted to go in alone – she even could have followed me after a few minutes but she didn’t. I fucked up, there’s no tossing that turd in glitter and calling it a diamond, but I wasn’t the only one.

“Let’s get outta here.”


End file.
